A Bit Anticlimactic!

so our flight got canceled today. sort of funny because two years ago, when we went to Belgium, we missed our flight because we left too late and the check-in line was super long (with only one worker) so we had to fly the next day.

once again, we had a set back in trying to get to Belgium. as we were heading out the door at 7 am (our flight was at 10:50), my sister calls and tells us that our flight got canceled and pushed to an earlier flight--9:30. yikes!

so i am driving down the highway, panicked on the inside but trying to be calm on the outside. THEN, my dad calls and says it actually is 9:30...tomorrow!

so we pick up my sister at the air port (she had just flown in from Hawaii and was supposed to fly with us to Belgium), and we find out that the flight got canceled because the crew didn't show up. WHAT??

i realize that the Christmas season is a crazy time. i truly feel for the airline workers because they have to be super stressed. but seriously. doing stuff like this only makes the stress for everyone worse.

oh well. this way my sister got to have a day's rest, instead of flying for like 20 hours total in a day. my baby is laying on the floor next to me, smiling and laughing at absolutely nothing. kirk is playing a video game. and we got to take a three hour nap today.

there is a silver lining in everything, right? we'll try again tomorrow. :)

Oh How the Tables Have Turned

so i recently joined a gym. syd is now six months, which means i am allowed to drop her off at the child care area.

i've only dropped her off twice there to go work out (i just got my membership on saturday). it's kind of a freaky feeling that i am now old enough, with a baby old enough, to do this.

i keep thinking about how i worked at YMCA in high school and for a summer after college. i worked at the day care place...mostly in the baby room, actually. i never thought that in a few shorts years, that i would be the mom dropping off her child...that i would be the woman with the ginormous diaper bag that her baby could probably fit in.

oh how the tables have turned.

Pumpkin Gingerbread Trifle Recipe

Pumpkin Gingerbread Trifle
Serves: 20 servings

Ingredients

• 2 (14-ounce) packages gingerbread mix
• 1 (5.1-ounce) box cook-and-serve vanilla pudding mix(or just use instant)
• 1 (30-ounce) can pumpkin pie filling
• 1/2 cup packed brown sugar
• 1/3 teaspoon ground cardamom or cinnamon
• 1 (12-ounce) container frozen whipped topping
• 1/2 cup gingersnaps, optional

Directions
Bake the gingerbread according to the package directions; cool completely. Meanwhile, prepare the pudding and set aside to cool. Stir the pumpkin pie filling, sugar, and cardamom into the pudding. Crumble 1 batch of gingerbread into the bottom of a large, pretty bowl. Pour 1/2 of the pudding mixture over the gingerbread, and then add a layer of whipped topping. Repeat with the remaining gingerbread, pudding, and whipped topping. Sprinkle of the top with crushed gingersnaps, if desired. Refrigerate overnight. Trifle can be layered in a punch bowl.

Craftiness

sooo usually i get frustrated with sewing. sewing and i have a love/hate relationship. but i started kirk's scrubs a couple of months ago, and despite the fact that i was SO fed up with them, i had let too many projects go unfinished.

well, i finished them tonight!!

oh, and also included are pics of the yummy gingerbread pumpkin trifle i made for a party a few weeks ago. it's a super easy recipe if you want it.

Comma Splice in My Previous Post!

*Le Gasp!* sorry guys. my bad. :)

Thank You :)

seriously, y'all's comments made my day!! i think there are just sometimes that i lack confidence in myself (which i've heard is fairly normal :p). i'll keep trying, i just have to have patience.

love you all!!!

Gimme S'more!

this is what we were for the ward Trunk-or-Treat.

Epiphany #262 (Because Kirk says I use that word too much))

i went visiting teaching today and had a good epiphany. {for those who don't know what visiting teaching is, in the LDS church we are assigned to visit two women once a month, to kind of see how they are doing, be their assigned friend, share a spiritual message, etc.}

anyway my epiphany is thus: i want to enjoy my child. not that i don't love and have fun with sydney, but i get so caught up in trying to have a perfectly clean house, make meals, exercise, read my scriptures, and balance all that with keeping kirk happy and myself happy with hobbies outside of my family...that i am not savoring those special moments with my baby girl.

i know everyone says that our kids grow up too fast, and i know i'll say that when she's older. i can't change the fact that she'll get older. but i can be there, really and truly be there, for her as she grows up.

we had fun today. i found a new way to make her laugh hysterically, and i couldn't help but laugh so hard with her. love making that girl smile.

i also loved holding her and singing to her before she went to bed tonight. i have a feeling that years from now, it'll be moments like these that i'll remember.

so i'm going to try to start letting things go. prioritize more. put my family first and not try so hard to keep up the joneses {ya know, the joneses that live in my head}.

i love being a mom.

Hyperbole and Half

Hilarious!!! Hyperbole and half is a hilarious blog. Loved this post:

Level 1: Brief encounters with kind-of friends

There is a special kind of awkwardness between two people who don't know each other well enough to interact effectively, but are familiar enough that ignoring each other's presence isn't really an option. No matter how much you like the person, you dread encountering them because you only know two things about each other and once you've covered those two things, there is nothing else and that is terrifying because you aren't good at ending conversations and that makes the horrible, strained silence all but inevitable.

But eventually you do run into one of these acquaintances and even though you both sense the impending awkwardness and desperately wish to avoid it, you have a social obligation to say hello. So you do, and the conversation derails even more quickly than you expected.

And then there you are, standing clumsily in the parking lot of Best Buy, frantically trying to keep the conversation afloat until one of you can think of a decently acceptable way to end the encounter. You stop caring about whether you make sense or not. You'll say anything to avoid silence.

At some point, the rapidly deteriorating subject material forces you to give up on being polite and just settle for the first bumbling phrase that comes out of you.

Luckily, your artless delivery doesn't matter. The other person is just thankful that they finally have an excuse to stop talking to you.

Syd the Kid

love my blue-eyed girl!

she wriggled right out of her pants...

i tried to make her look more girly with the headband...and she ended up just looking like a male basketball player.

Ben Rappaport--Plays Main Character in "Outsourced"

totally went to high school with this guy. i had sophomore english with him. he was a nice guy, too.

i think he's a great actor, but i can't describe how surreal it is to see a guy that i had classes with, playing on a tv show after the office and 30 rock.

i had to turn off the tv, it was weirding me out!!

Sydney had her first giggling fit while I sang along with this song to her. :)

I'm a nerd, and proud of it

growing up, i was into reading the classics, historical fiction, and fantasy. as i went into high school and became an adult, i shied away from fantasy because it reminded me of how was in junior high (when i really liked it): a little pudgy, with poofy hair and braces. :p

well i have decided to embrace the fact that i like fantasy. it may not be sophisticated or what not, but i LOVE it. not all fantasy, mind you. most is pretty corny and not very well-written. but sometimes, you'll find a gem.

i've been watching Legend of the Seeker on netflix. we don't have cable, so i look for things that are on instant play for netflix. this show is based on the series by Terry Goodkind: The Sword of Truth.

i am not ashamed to admit that i want Richard and Kahlan to get together.

and i desperately want to defeat Darken Rahl.

Happy Baby, and Happy Parents

soooo i threw in the towel with sleep training. three months is much too early for sydney, even though babywise and other moms have said otherwise. we are both MUCH happier.

bed time: 8:15 pm

nurse: 3-3:30 am

i put her back to bed after i nursed her, and she got up at 6:45 am!!! i was in bed (reading a book) by 9:15 pm, so i got lots of rest too.

WOW. i feel great! sydney is super happy. and kirk is happy...no crazy wife waking him up in the middle of the night. :p

thank y'all for your advice. obviously every baby is different and every mom is different, but it's nice to get different opinions and then judge for yourself what is right for your kid.

my kid, right now, is hiccuping on my lap. and she needs a diaper change. :)

So Tired...

trying to sleep train sydney. not working out so well. it's been a week and a half battle, with no end in sight. it has turned me into a petty individual, angry that kirk is sleeping through the night and i have to wake up every hour. i even woke him up at 4 am this morning, in tears, going on and on about how "he didn't help me in the hospital enough" and how "i felt like a single parent..." blah blah blah. whine whine whine.

and ya know what kirk did? he sleepily said "we'll figure this out with sydney together," and tried to comfort ME. ME, the person who woke up my husband like a crazy. and this morning (a few hours later, when we really got up for the day), he happily sat next to me and munched away on his cereal while i was nursing sydney. told me i was beautiful. discussed how we could get our daughter to sleep so i could get more rest.

i apologized several times for being a jerk and wanting him to be awake and miserable like me. i really was contrite ( i better be, after all that). and he simply said "we all have bad days," got ready for the morning, and kissed me goodbye.

this is why i married this man. because he is SUCH a bigger person than i am.

so i give up on the sleep training thing, for now. i am simply going to nurse her when she gets up, and then both of us will get more sleep. i think she's just too little to sleep through the night without a feeding...despite the fact that others have told me they have done the same with babies her age i think every baby is different.

sydney is cooing more now. i got a video of her making her cute sounds. i've got to remember to post it. she smiles this big, goofy grin when we change her diaper. she does the shy grin with us too, but mostly kirk. she'll grin and then bury her head in my chest or turn her head away, looking at him through the corner of her eyes.

i'll admit, hearing her cry in the middle of the night is sometimes super depressing and just makes me frustrated. but when i see her smiling up at me, i can't be mad anymore. dang babies and their cuteness.

Kirk's been singing me this song... I think it's so cute!

Yay for a happy baby. :)

Happy Third Anniversary!

kirky stayed home from his morning classes today for our anniversary. he was able to sleep in, which he was stoked about. we made omelets and biscuits, watched I Am Reed Fish (weird movie, but interesting), and stayed in our pj's until noon. we took turns holding our sydney girl while we watched the movie, after she had napped in her crib for a while.

we're doing the official nice dinner thing this weekend, when his mom can babysit. but to be honest, today's celebrations made me happy. i just soaked up being able to have him to myself for the morning, instead of med school taking him away from me. :p and there was something just so tender about having our baby share this anniversary with us.

here's to three awesome years of marriage.

Schuyler Fisk- From where i'm standing. I am obsessed with this song right now!

Crafts, Baking and Randomness

after i fed sydney, i put her down again at 5:30 this morning. i decided to just stay up because i have not had delicious alone time where i could do what i have wanted in...at least a week. it just has been crazy with family in town and everything. i am already realizing that as a mom, these alone times are far and few between. i've gotta say though...it's totally worth it. when i hold that baby girl, and she rests her tiny fist on my chest when i'm nursing her, everything falls away and i fall in love all over again. she is a tiny peace of heaven in my world of chaos.

anyway, here are some photos of our lives lately:

the two pictures below were taken this morning. i have NO idea how kirk got wrapped up in our fitted sheet, but i thought it was hilarious. we've been having some flea issues so we bug bombed the house yesterday before heading over to Kirk's mom's for festivities. anyway by the time we got home, we were soo tired that we tucked in the fitted sheet and threw on a top sheet. apparently when you're to lazy to make your bed, your hubby gets wrapped like a burrito in the bottom sheet!

the pictures above show my random urge to cook things on the food network. i was watching Down Home with the Neelys last saturday, and they made red velvet cone cakes. they looked delicious. so i went to the store that day and got the ingredients. my sis-in-law and her kiddos were coming over that day anyway, so i figured it would be fun for the kids to decorate them. i think they enjoyed them, especially after swimming for two hours straight with Kirk. :)

these are pics of the car seat cover i made like a month ago. i did not end up doing the velcro attachments just yet. i was going to go and get more fabric to do them, and the baby came. plus i was just way too frustrated by the sewing machine at the time. ;p but the fabric totally sticks to the car seat pretty well, so i will probably just be lazy and not do the attachments.

Trying to be better

photo found here

i feel like as i've gotten older, i've gotten more anxious about things. maybe because i have more and more things to care about? who knows. anyway, i have had a couple of claustrophobia panic attacks in the past couple of years, one of the attacks happening when i couldn't move my legs with the epidural and they had to rush me into emergency c-section (this was the second time they gave me the epidural drugs. the first time i was just fine).

anyway, claustrophobia isn't the only time i get panicky and overwhelmed and let the anxiety take over. i dropped my sewing class at college because i just got waaay too overwhelmed and anxious when my creation was not perfect. i stopped playing my piano because i would get too anxious performing. if i'm not practicing, i can't perform...right?

the point is, i'm sick of letting anxiety rule my life. i know i'm a high-strung person a lot of the time. when i told my sister-in-law that i had a panic attack while in labor, she said that she and her husband expected that...it would be out of the ordinary for me not to panic. and it's true. i don't want to be that person anymore though.

so, one step at a time, i'm going to try to let things roll off my shoulders more. i've been playing my piano more lately. way more than i have in a long time. i LOVE playing. i shouldn't let anxiety stop me from playing my music! how sad would that be?? i have to be ok with not being perfect at things. just let loose, have fun, and laugh at myself.

i will not let anxiety rule my life anymore. i know it's going to take baby steps, and sometimes i will fail. but that's ok. progression doesn't stop when you fall. it only stops if you refuse to get back up.

Just because I want to...

i LOVE watching cake decorating shows. Ace of Cakes, Cake Boss, etc. so i've decided that i am going to learn how to make fondant, and make sydney a cake for her one month birthday this thursday.yes, i know she can't enjoy it. but mama sure can. :p i basically am just scrambling for a reason to make a cake.

aren't these cakes pretty?? i got them at this website that shows you how to make fondant. wish me luck! pictures of the attempt (for better or for worse) will be posted.

More Baby Pics!

this is one of her main facial expressions she has when she is stretching. love it!

tired, but happy mama!

cousin bennett (9 months old) is ginormous compared to sydney!

tired papa

this is the life!

I love her so much, my heart is going to burst.

I Saw This the Other Day

overall, i enjoyed watching it. i liked that it fleshed out more characters and stories, just like the book did. having just finished the book again, i was able to recognize subtle things that they did that were discussed in the book. the music was gorgeous, so i liked that too.

i have to say though, it is definitely not my favorite rendition of emma. i don't think anything can beat the gwyneth paltrow version! this emma (romola garai) was not the emma i pictured in my mind. she was very abrupt at times with different emotions she was supposed to be portraying, and it just felt forced.

i thought the actress that was chosen to play harriet smith (louise dylan) was very close to the harriet described in the book. partly this is because she is blonde and delicate. but she also seemed more air headed in this version too, which is how jane austen portrayed her. oh and mr. knightley was waaaaay too harsh with emma in the movie. he yelled at her for most of the movie! if i were her, i would not have married him. he was extremely condescending. the gwyneth paltrow mr. knightley was much more charming and more subtle--like he was in the book.

i will probably buy this version, mostly because it's nice to have a newer mini-series and emma is my favorite book. it's good to have the mini-series on in the background while you're cooking and stuff. but if i'm going to sit down and feel all cozy, gwyneth paltrow will be my emma of choice.

Rise Up in Mutiny Against the Sewing Machine

why am i even trying?? i am so close to finishing this car seat cover, that's why. all i have to do is sew the two handles so i can velcro the blanket to the car seat. but seriously this machine has it out for me. when i am finally doing great, it breaks down on me. the needle is too loose so it completely falls out while i'm sewing. or the bobbin will refuse to give me thread.

then, when the sewing machine is actually DOING its job, i totally space it and sew the wrong sides together instead of the right sides. and i feel stupid enough as it is, so i don't want someone to do it for me or show someone my pathetic progress.

aaaahh! THIS is why, when my mom would try to teach me sewing as a kid, i would just be hot and frustrated and angry. because the sewing machine is a product from hell, that is disguised as something from heaven because some people seem to be able to create things from it without cursing or backaches. but oh no, not me! of course not.

the worst part is, is that i really don't want to give up. i don't want the sewing machine to win. but that means that i have to go back and take a seam ripper to one of the handles that i made. seriously it should not be taking me this long!!!

While I was making the car seat cover, Kirk was doing this...

this is his superman pose. kirk saves the day and assembles the stroller!

(picture taken in high school--May 2004)

for six years kirk has been a major part of my life. love him.